Friday, September 29, 2000

Big Brother

Tonight, I had to work till 9 because it's the end of the financial quarter for the Internet company I work for. That means a lot of projects had to be tied up before the weekend, so we can report the revenue and keep investors happy.

That means I had to miss the grand finale of Big Brother. :-( (Is it any surprise that this webcam junkie would be into watching the lives of a bunch of strangers, taped 24/7, and trapped in a house for three months without any outside contact?) Every week, another "house guest" was voted off by the viewing audience. The last three left with a nice cash prize. Congrats to Eddie, the hottie with the foul mouth, the one leg and the nipple ring. He was my personal favorite, and he took home the grand prize, $500,000.

Thursday, September 28, 2000


With Carlos, Joe, and NaajaI'm missing my friends lately. I'm working really hard right now to rebuilding friendships that I've ignored for a better part of the year. I'm meeting Naaja, pictured on the right, in a couple of days, and I'm really looking forward to that.

I miss Marc, but he went to Greece for two weeks. And my new buddy, Dwayne's, in the Czech Republic. I think Darrell's traveling again. *sigh*

I'm starting to think it's time for another vacation myself!

Tuesday, September 26, 2000

Florida, Here I Come

Dave in South BeachSo, Henry and I are going away for a week in October! It's gonna so much FUN!!! Disney, and Miami, and boys, and all that jazz... My "traveling partner" and I (you may wanna check out past Journal entries) are gonna travel around Florida for a week. If you wanna hang out some time -- this means YOU, Dave in South Beach (see photo left) -- let me know! (I have many more HOT pics of the boy -- let me know if you wanna know more.) ;-)

Sunday, September 24, 2000

Yes, I'm Drunk

I'm feeling pretty good right now. Although I've been spending too much energy avoiding a certain you-know-who, I'm very much looking forward to this awesome party on a boat around Manhattan that I've been invited to next Saturday. It's this fashion photographer's 30th birthday, and you know what that means: MODELS! Thank you, Alex! So, Henry and I are going clothes shopping on Friday. We must look fabulous!

Sunday (10/1), I'm meeting an old friend of mine, Dan, for brunch. (No, not that Dan -- a different one.) It's been many months since we've seen each other. Totally cool guy.

Also next week, I'm finally seeing Danny again. After a hiatus -- that was much too long, if you ask me -- we're gonna hang out. (I promise a photo of the boy some time.) I mentioned a couple of our unbelievable dates earlier this year, but I royally fucked up afterward. Another story for another day. Anyway, he's going to Brazil for a week on vacation, but I'm really looking forward to his return. :-) It's kind of interesting, that when I met him, I was going to London for a week.

That's it for now, darlings. Time for bed. Good night all!

Tuesday, September 19, 2000

Madonna Music

Doesn't the new Madonna CD just rock your world?!? Number one single AND album this week, baby... in 23 countries! If you've been living under a rock, you might not have heard how awesome the music is. Buy it now!

Or just download it from Napster. Whatever.

Wednesday, September 13, 2000


(It's late, so this WILL be rambling. You've been warned.)

Stream of consciousness starts here --> You know that episode of Friends where Courteney Cox Arquette (Monica) is being wooed by Jon Favreau? I forget what his character's name was, but he played a millionaire, whom Monica wanted to be attracted to, but just couldn't be, no matter how hard she tried. He did many things to win her -- like buy her a restaurant (!) -- but nothing worked... until he kissed her. That's how I felt tonight. (Like Jon, not Monica.)

Tonight, Russell wanted to have a chat. I thought it was premature for something so serious, since we'd only gone on two real dates since he's been back. I am so into him, that I prepared for the worst. I mean, what else would he want to say besides, "It's not you, it's me..." or "I really don't think this is going to work out..."

We met at Ginger's around 8:30, and he quickly got to the point. Now that he's working at two restaurants, his time will be limited. Add to that the fact that he has only been back in New York for two weeks (adjustment period). Plus, he needs to devote time to being with his friends (as we all should do). Lastly, there's his last two relationships, which ended very, very badly.

I asked him if this meant goodbye, or if it meant, "Let's be friends!". He denied it meant either. He just wanted to stress how important focusing on his writing and acting was. That's why he was back, and although our time together has been great, he had to try to discourage any sort of distraction (my words). Now, I think he found this difficult to believe, but I told him that what little time he could offer me, I was willing to take. (I didn't believe I said it myself. That was very unlike me... but you haven't met Russell.)

I took a step back at that moment and felt that this... whatever-you-call-it that we have, hadn't run its course. I find him so -- interesting and fun and beautiful. (You should see his eyes... oh, and that smile!) He has so many wonderful ideas and beliefs that I could listen to him for hours. And when he looks at me, I feel a genuine connection.

Anyway, after I stated that I didn't want things to just end as quickly as they had begun, we let things settle down a bit. We started chatting about other things, like societies of the future and webcam culture. I offered to walk him home, and continued to talk. I was disappointed, of course, that his time wasn't what it was when I met him. But the fact he wanted to talk about things face-to-face, really meant something.

He invited me up, and we had a few cigarettes and talked some more -- about our respective families, what we would do with a million dollars, stuff like that. He also showed me pictures of his family. I felt let down, that there was nothing I could do or say that could make him grab me and shout, "Oh, damn it all! I wanna be with you! Screw the world... let's try this!"

That is until I kissed him goodbye. It was so sensual, almost spiritual. The energy surrounding us was undeniable. We must have been holding each other, enjoying each other's presence for what felt like hours. Losing all track of time while in the arms of a beautiful boy is such a great feeling -- I highly recommend it. We sloooowly made it from the living to the front door, where passion took over. I felt how tender and how warm and how strong and how delicious he was, all at once. Hands and lips and arms and skin. I had lost my breath and become dizzy.

It was now four hours after we met for what was supposed to be a "little chat." Walking home up 7th Ave., I wondered what the next couple of "episodes" were gonna be like. Oh, wait... On Friends, Monica and Jon Favreau broke up after a couple weeks. Hmmm... maybe that wasn't the best analogy after all.

More soon,

Monday, September 04, 2000

Breaking Up

Knowing me, knowing you
We just have to face it: this time we're through

Breaking up is never easy, I know
But I have to go
Knowing me, knowing you
It's the best I can do

It's been on my my mind for a long time, and it was just time.